Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize