i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
