is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
