I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you will always have a special place in my vag
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
