Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
