Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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