Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Panties = found
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