Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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