Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
