we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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