mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Life is so much better after having sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
