I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
