She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
