Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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