im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
