ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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