Duck Duck Cougar?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
