Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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