did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
