Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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