so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think my vagina is haunted
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
