hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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