the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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