Fuck appropriateness.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
