tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
