FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize