Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
