your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
