Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize