I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
