were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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