none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
