i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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