Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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