Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My dick has a subreddit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
