OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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