Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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