since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
