Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
