Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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