i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
