She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
