That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
