Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
