just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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