Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
