her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
