he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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