He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
