Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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