that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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