but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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