Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
