so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
