Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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