Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
