C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
only you would photoshop your dick
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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