We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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