Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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