is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
