? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
