Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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