Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
