Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
