i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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