in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
