I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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