you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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