there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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