I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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